Her Story Love in Addiction

At my last post, this orchid only had buds. Life is like my blooming orchid. Resilient flowers growing from severed stalks. I know it has been awhile, but I have not forgotten you my dear readers. Today my husband has not picked up in 589 days.  Life has been busy. A combination of regular day-to-day and …

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More

Days sober: 377 The fear has fallen away leaving space for MORE. Living with and loving an actively using addict was maddening, soul crushing, chaos. Prison walls closing in, life a small cell. There was only room for fear. I never want to go back. On October 8, 2017 my husband celebrated one year of …

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Season of Blackout-Letting Go

He's gone. My texts have gone from blue to green. I am alone. Holding on. It is the season of blackout. I had 12 hours with him. Holding on. A strained 12 hours, leaving me with the metallic taste of disappointment. Expectation will do that to you. He was released from his partial hospitalization program …

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A Life in Images: Through Our Eyes

These are photographs taken by me and my husband. "Time as we know it was created by man." -Me "One luminary clock against the sky Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right." -Robert Frost "The first thing necessary for a constructive dealing with time is to learn to live in the reality of the present moment. …

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It Feels Like the End

  This past week I have been spending time cultivating my new practices in self-love. The healing elixir is brewing in my cauldron and the ingredients I slowly mix into the pot are therapy, yoga, meditation, writing, the healing powers of food, and travel. I reached out to my best friend and we began making …

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Reinvention

So I’m hoping today will be the beginning of the end. If this weren’t real life, I would have enough cash to wake up and decide I was going to leave him today. I would pack my bags, hire movers to ship my stuff, buy a ticket and go right back to where I just …

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