Addiction the Authoritarian 

"Hate the disease not the addict". -heard in a Nar-Anon meeting. Anyone who has lived with or loved an addict knows the all-consuming and unforgiving grip that addiction holds like hands around your neck, suffocating, deathly, and devastating. Anyone who is an addict (or recovering addict) also knows this. Addiction is a state of total …

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Surface Lot

My husband is an addict.  Click, flame lights, tinfoil crackles, sharp inhale, lungs fill, smoke billows, brain floods, neck goes limp, pupils constrict. A man sits alone in a car in a concrete parking garage. The dome light inside of the car paints shadows across his face. Deepening the dark curved grooves beneath his eyes; …

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Cinnamon

A few things about me: my name is Taino Indian (indigenous Caribbean people of Puerto Rico living on the island when Christopher Columbus arrived and before the island was colonized) and means 'goddess of clear skies', I hate waste, especially wasting food, I love coconut, I am an avid coffee drinker, I love café con …

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One Day at a Time: Surviving The Colonial Fist 

This post is going to be all over the place, because, well, all over the place is how I feel. Balancing, teetering, floating, rocking, falling, standing, sinking, rising, I walk upon earth, through life. One day at a time.  My husband and I celebrated some personal victories last week. He is number one in the …

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Thaw 

‪It is 59 degrees in Massachusetts. Last weekend we had two nor'easter storms that dropped about 2 feet of snow.  Melting snow flows,  liquid footsteps skipping upon rooftops, sounding waterfalls outside‬.  Reminder that  from still frozen ground,  from muddy earth, ‪Emerges life‬.  It is February in New England; that means anything could happen. Enjoying the …

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Love In Recovery 

Sonnet XVII I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,    or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:    I love you as one loves certain obscure things,    secretly, between the shadow and the soul.  I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries    the light …

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A Sobering Winter 

It is Febuary of 2017. I live in the United States. There is a winter storm coming. My husband is a recovering opioid addict. He has been clean for 122 days. "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around …

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Postcards

We must not become complacent. Surviving (addiction) in the time of Trump. Week 2.  Days Sober: 118 ***march: aka protest, write, call, resist, share, speak, discuss, listen, organize, investigate, read, inform, create, love*** I march for human rights.  I march against discrimination and bigotry.  I march for inclusivity and love.  I march against the Alt-Right.  …

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History’s Lessons: Actions in Addiction and the Resistance Ahead

"Quote words that affirm all men and women are your brothers and sisters." -Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams   Days Sober: 110 When my husband was using my bones were brittle from stress, my back bent with burden, my walk labored with stress,  my mind tired from the worry, my thinking distorted by anxiety. …

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Between the Rainfalls

Lifting my face to the sky there is the moment when the sun's rays caress the skin The glow it seeps into the bones warms the heart A fleeting eclipse before it retreats into the clouds  These moments  Between the juncture of clouds  amidst the smattering of rainfalls  They are everything  Last night I had …

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