Thaw 

‪It is 59 degrees in Massachusetts. Last weekend we had two nor'easter storms that dropped about 2 feet of snow.  Melting snow flows,  liquid footsteps skipping upon rooftops, sounding waterfalls outside‬.  Reminder that  from still frozen ground,  from muddy earth, ‪Emerges life‬.  It is February in New England; that means anything could happen. Enjoying the …

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Affirmations 

Codependency is a bitch. So is addiction.  Today my husband returns from rehab. I told my therapist how terrified I am of relapse. Of overdose. She reminded me not to abandon myself, to continue practicing self love. She told me to take life one day at a time. She taught me the serenity prayer. She …

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In/Out

He is in and I am out. He is in treatment and I am out in the world. He is in recovery and I need to be too. I need to be out here healing. When you live with an individual who is actively using, you are in what I would like to call survival mode. …

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A Life in Images: Through Our Eyes

These are photographs taken by me and my husband. "Time as we know it was created by man." -Me "One luminary clock against the sky Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right." -Robert Frost "The first thing necessary for a constructive dealing with time is to learn to live in the reality of the present moment. …

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The Love Only Comes When He’s High

The love only comes when he’s high It comes in bursts of light It comes like fireworks exploding from his heart It comes in manic streams of words spilling from his dry lips It comes radiating from black pinned pupils The love only comes when he’s high It comes like an oasis in the desert It …

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Quantum Mechanics: Our New Ally

Quantum mechanics is on my side because according to QM there is no set past, present, or future. There is no you and no me. We have infinite potentials and can be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.  We are matter, energy, particles, and wave forms.  Our consciousness forms us. There is a biology of …

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Self Love

  Loving an addict means sacrifice. It means finding resources, researching theories, setting up appointments, calling therapists, looking for rehabs, maintaining the home and finances, and paying medical bills (at least trying to). It means sacrifice often without the intended result of recovery, leading to disappointment and stress. Loving an addict means always putting my …

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