Her Story Love in Addiction

At my last post, this orchid only had buds. Life is like my blooming orchid. Resilient flowers growing from severed stalks. I know it has been awhile, but I have not forgotten you my dear readers. Today my husband has not picked up in 589 days.  Life has been busy. A combination of regular day-to-day and …

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From Tar

Amidst an epidemic, my husband is 540 days clean from heroin. Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is. -Marianne Williamson This morning my husband went somewhere before work to get a space heater for his office. …

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Orchid

Patience blooms Infant tendril emanates deliberately from stump Clipped by cold lifeless metal Expectant buds house hereafter petals Cared for without obsession Her idle growth is still inside chaos Her revival a tender surprise She is resilient This is my orchid. She has shiny green new stems and buds that will produce flowers soon. I …

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Hope Shot

On October 12, 2016 my husband detoxed from opioids in our home. He entered rehab for 45 days after that. Today, after almost 15 years battling prescription painkiller and then heroin (is there really much of a difference?) addiction, he is 491 days sober and this past January he received a promotion after only one …

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Los Tres Reyes

January 6th is Three Kings Day, El Día de los Tres Reyes. It is the 12th day of Christmas and is also known as the “Feast of the Epiphany”. In Puerto Rico (and many Latin American countries), this day is celebrated with the same importance as Christmas. Children may place shoes at the door and …

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White Christmas

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening -By Robert Frost Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the …

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More

Days sober: 377 The fear has fallen away leaving space for MORE. Living with and loving an actively using addict was maddening, soul crushing, chaos. Prison walls closing in, life a small cell. There was only room for fear. I never want to go back. On October 8, 2017 my husband celebrated one year of …

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The Trail

It has been a while since I have written. I know in early recovery this could mean many things, including bad things. It could mean relapse. My husband, by the grace of God, is still sober. In mid October, he will be one year clean.  I have not written because we have been enjoying a …

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Bike Lights

My husband and I laughed today. We laughed at the absurdity and insanity of addiction. Sometimes in recovery you must laugh. Because if you don't, you may find yourself crying all the damn time.  In California my husband speed balled. He smoked dope and meth together to create a potent high. When he did this …

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  Sober Summer

Days Sober: 257 It is June 25, 2017. I am lying on the beach in Plum Island Massachusetts. My husband is next to me on the blue cotton quilt we have always used as a beach blanket. I look out to the jetty, it's gray and irregular rocks like long daggers, outstretched blades on either …

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