On October 12, 2016 my husband detoxed from opioids in our home. He entered rehab for 45 days after that. Today, after almost 15 years battling prescription painkiller and then heroin (is there really much of a difference?) addiction, he is 491 days sober and this past January he received a promotion after only one year at his new company. My husband is alive and we are thriving. This is our hope shot. Hope for us to have a shot at life. Hope for anyone out there reading this, whether using or in recovery. You have a shot. I believe in my husband. I believe in you.
When my husband was using, life was a hollow glass echoing nothingness, on the verge of shattering into the millions of pieces my heart was. There was so little joy then. In recovery, everything, I mean Every-Fucking-Thing, matters. The littlest things bring us joy. My glass is brimming with hope, a full overflowing heart.
Little things, like going out to eat Chinese food at one of our favorite local spots on a cold and rainy Friday. At dinner we discuss the secret to my husband’s success. You can probably guess what it is. One simple, and yet so complex and difficult, thing: he is dope free. Sobriety. Our hope shot.
Conversations about where we have been and where we are now, often result in tears. The water droplets that fall from my eyes are a mixed heart-elixir of pain, love, and gratitude. We open our fortune cookies. This is my husband’s-it’s fitting and sublime:
We are bouncing, we are flying. Life a winged falcon, from sticks and tattered earthly nest ascends, through the rain that pours from my bright eyes, soaring above golden horizon, despite once clipped and still wounded wings, farther than the heart can imagine.
I wrote a piece for an amazing addiction recovery blog called The Hope Fiend, written by recovering addict Jake. This piece describes my story with my husband, from rock bottom to recovery.
Click here to read: