Characters: 3 people, men, women, trans, whatever you please. The Present #1, The Present #2, Back in The Day
Setting: the unemployment office in the South Side. Back in the day and right now, sometime and anytime between 1995 and today.
The Present #1: who’s that white guy over there? He looks familiar.
The Present #2: that’s Comey.
Back in the Day: oh yeah, he’s director of the FBI.
The Present #1: not anymore, he got fired.
The Present #2: that’s why he’s in the unemployment line with us.
Back in the Day: what happened?
The Present #2: Donald Trump fired him.
Back in the Day: what? Trump works at the FBI now? Damn rich people, they get all the connects.
The Present #1 : nah, Donald Trump is president of the United States.
Back in the Day: what??!!! Can’t be true! He is a real racist crook. Guess I can see how it’s possible…
The Present #1: yup he still golfs all the time though.
The Present #2: it’s all over Twitter.
Back in the Day: some shit never changes. Wait, what’s Twitter?
The Present #1: you know for tweeting.
(Back in the Day stands in line looking perplexed)
Back in the Day: by the way I have a real bad headache from the constant time travel. Have any oxy?
The Present #1: nah man, been clean 10 years. Turns out pain pills are just dope.
The Present # 2: as addictive as heroin.
Back in The Day: but my doctor said…
The Present #1: pharmaceutical companies lied. Don’t mess with dope either anymore, they’re cuttin’ it with something called fentanyl now. Shits a killer.
Back in the Day (shaking head): damn, I guess I’m not surprised, I knew those were withdrawal symptoms even though they promised that wasn’t supposed to happen. Hopefully my insurance will cover addiction treatment.
The Present #1: yeah I lost some friends to Purdue’s pill overdoses, good luck man.
(Hands him pre existing condition checklist)
The Present #2: times are tough, but we recently had a Black President.
Back in the Day: not possible! (looking perplexed again) Who?
The Present #1: dude named Barack Obama.
Back in the Day: from around the way…
(Back in the Day shakes head with amazed facial expression)
The Present #2: now it’s Donald Trump.
Back in the Day: damn, the present is a crazy ass place.
(Sees Hillary Clinton standing with Comey, walks over to talk to them…”can I call you Jim?”…and loses place in unemployment line).
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