How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend?

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I say it quietly or loudly? With a gentle caress or like a harsh stinging slap to the cheek? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 
Do I write it in a note with wet curving ink-pen strokes or do I let it vibrate from melancholy vocal cords? Will it be from bent knees or upon two feet standing? 

Like a flash of light or a slow fading dimmer? Do I utter malicious lies or proclaim crystal clear truths? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I express it meekly like a reticent mouse or do I release it with the roar of a savage lion?  Will my words wrap in tightly coiled snake rings or embrace with the expansive fins of the stingray? 

How i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I surrender it with apologies or do I demand an explanation?  Will it be in hushed whispers or shall I scream at the top of my lungs? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I use email, signed with my full name or just send it in acronyms via text? Do I LOL or do I SMH? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I say it in a rush like catching the NYC subway…to wherever…or do I say it in a sloooowww southeeeeern draaaawwwwwl? With delicate words upon snowflakes or with the skull crunching blow of the hammer? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend?

With the hot flash of a momentary lightning bolt or do I take my time with words upon rolling thunder? Will I tell you beachside with refreshing straw sips from cool coconuts or in desolate desert spitting sandy words from parched, cracked lips and grit filled teeth? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I meow the words, tickling your ear with an independent whisker or do I bark with the wagging tail of your most loyal companion? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I say it face to face or in the dark masked confessional with the shadows? Do I avert my gaze or do I look unflinching into your eyes? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Shall I weave the words from loom’s silken wool or ship foreign manufactured sentence-filled packages from lonely brick factories? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Shall my words be the last sun rays at dusk melting into ocean horizon or will they wake you with dawn’s first pop of sunlight accompanied by the shrill rooster’s crow? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Do I serenade an audience? Shall I do it in song or do I recite it in poetry’s rhyme? Or shall I talk to the wall in windowless institutional rooms? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

With choppy staccato notes or with the longing of a continuous melody that is legato? With a solitary tear or in bellowing lung-wracked sobs? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Will it be an earthly ride on the ancient shell of a tortoise or a heavenly flight upon the soaring jet plane with fuel engines burning? Will it be a sudden burst of flame or the bubbling spring of a meandering brook? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Shall I release it like the gunpowder shot from cold hollow barrel or do I take my time like an orchid’s wild bloom? Do I speak in rushed execution or narrate serving a life sentence? 

How do i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

How will you listen when i tell you my husband is a dope fiend? 

Will you listen? 

Right before I started writing my story in this blog, I picked up the phone and told my best friend in San Diego the whole truth about my husband’s addiction. I finally started talking, and then I started writing. I am lucky because when I was ready to talk, my best friend listened without judgment. That listening ear, and all of yours, have helped to save me (us). 

If someone comes to you, ready to talk, I urge you to take the time to listen. 

Days Sober: 198

Fight stigma, resist addiction, keep talking, keep listening,  peace and love out there.