Addiction the Authoritarian 

“Hate the disease not the addict”. -heard in a Nar-Anon meeting.

Anyone who has lived with or loved an addict knows the all-consuming and unforgiving grip that addiction holds like hands around your neck, suffocating, deathly, and devastating. Anyone who is an addict (or recovering addict) also knows this. Addiction is a state of total control. It is a state of tyranny. 

Addiction the authoritarian. Without regard for the rules. Without regard for the law. Criminal, robbing us of dignity, soul thieving, murderous.

Addiction the authoritarian. Scapegoating the marginalized, placing blame on others, without responsibility. 

Addiction the authoritarian. Fear mongering, divisive, spitting hateful opioid-filled words, inciter of self-loathing and shame. 

Addiction the authoritarian. Master of our universe, strong man, ruling by opiate executive order and heroin iron fist.

Addiction the authoritarian. Incessant deceiver, pathological liar, and master manipulator.  Spinning silken lies as we nod-out in a web of obliteration.

Addiction the authoritarian. Moral relativist, rationalizing violence, and justifying brutality.

Addiction the authoritarian. Slogan-slinging drug dealer. Feeding us the same fentanyl-laced line over and over again until we are numb, the words echoing in the empty chamber that is our mind. Ultimately the lies bleeding into truth, nothing left but junk filled brains and weary hearts.

Addiction the authoritarian.  Building steel walls,  dividing families, orphaning children. Us mere detainees in a beige powder-filled cell. Deportation our overdose ending.

Addiction the authoritarian. With blatant disdain for our institutions; without respect for the society that is our mind, lacking kindness for the establishment that is our body, without love for the organization that is our heart, no deference for the center that is our soul.

Addiction the authoritarian. Narcissist, lacking empathy, with a deep need for the opiate’s admiration, self-serving and wasted ego maniac.

Addiction the authoritarian. Rejecting truth and forming alternative facts to fit the junkie narrative. Censoring dissent,  our protests transformed into silent internal screams.

Addiction the authoritarian. Nepotist, keeping only drug-family members and cronies close, forming the opiate inner circle: oxy, roxy, heroin, fentanyl, percocet, speedball. All profiting from our misery. 

As I said addiction is a state of total control. The f$@#ed up thing is, it didn’t start that way. Though my husband’s rock bottom ended in a tyrannical scream, it started as an elected whisper, barely perceivable, practically inaudible.

Next Friday my husband will be six months clean. There was a time that I felt so helpless and out of control that I stopped being able to imagine this. I could no longer see my husband behind addiction’s authoritarian mask.  If addiction is total control then sobriety is freedom. And as I have said before, freedom is an endless struggle. 

Fighting addiction’s tyranny requires education, vigilance, openness, work, empathy, and love. Fight addiction. Resist stigma. Love others. End the opioid epidemic.

Resist. 

Shout out to pixabay for the photo. 

 

 

 

 

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35 thoughts on “Addiction the Authoritarian 

  1. Fight and rage against the addiction. Love the addict. Great message.

    It’s written with that same fire that feeds a clean engine. You’ve got me inspired this morning! I may not need another round of coffee after this one. Boom pow!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Addiction is by far the most terrifying, most destructive thing I’ve ever experienced. The moral and spiritual bankruptcy that results is devastating. It unleashes the absolute worst in humans, almost as if it feeds off the shadow side and it can never get enough. I can’t imagine what it must be like to witness this happening to a loved one.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yes it’s devastating and when I look back it’s like this obscure and foreign nightmare, this fuzzy memory, so close and so far away…yet the emotions are still there, just below the surface, bubbling up sometimes, reminding me. I’m grateful to now be a witness to (and participant in) recovery. xoxo

      Like

  3. Pingback: Sobriety Bloggers Shoutout: – Daily Recovery Blog

    1. Once again I am flabbergasted trying to comment on your site. Perhaps it’s my phone app…oh my! I just read Mr.UTs post. I love reading his perspective because while we have struggled with similar circumstances, frustration, not knowing how to support your loved one, dealing with denial, I find that I have not struggled as much with the communication and introspection piece as he wrote. It demonstrates that there are universal human experiences and deeply individual and personal ones, in addiction, and in life. It is the sharing and connecting that brings us together. I can see how brave, open, and loving he has been with you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Everytime I read about someone achieving sobriety it gives me a little hope. I just hope my son finds it before its too late. Congratulations to your husband, I understand how unbelievably difficult it is to achieve 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. unicornmemoirs.com

    I remember 6 months, it was still new enough to be terrifying. I extend congratulations to both of you, I recently celebrated 4 years and I can tell you the voice of addiction is ever transforming, finding new ways to lie to me in my own voice.

    Liked by 2 people

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